Come get your knife.

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 09:39:26 GMT

I'm just gonna throw out some of my favorite poems I wrote. I wrote all of these when I was going through one of the most stressful times of my life. Which, im not going to get into because it's just way too personal and I'll get emotional and...yeah...just no. Anyways, I hope you enjoy these as much as I, because writing poetry is all I got. It's what fills the void inside my cold, black heart. These poems are my true dark side unleashed and a side nobody has ever seen and I hope to God nobody ever sees it...

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- Lesion -
Sitting in solitude, I ponder what we believe as life,
Are we alive, or just a program that some advanced intelligence wrote for a middle school science experiment?
Take a sip of black coffee and wonder what coffee is supposed to taste like,
Is this a dream or just a taste of reality, given by the unknown?

Why I lost my faith to this,
This lie that doesn't even exist,
Drag the pain until the depths give up their dead,
Longing to swallow your lesion,

You've choked my loss and stabbed my pride,
Preservation or production,
Either way is your prediction,
I still wish to eat your cancer,

Whose reckless heart will you scar now?
Cause I'm at the end of another lost highway,
Heading towards a dead end,
The missing link of disaster.

- Paralysis -
Crippled wings make me invisible,
Silent pain coursing through my veins,
Revised but still sore,

Consumed guilt feeding the cuts deep inside my heart,
Paranormal issues spreading rapidly,
My insomnia never letting me rest,
The change of emotions tire out the body,
May the past find my hated perfection,

Mass genocide tempting mankind to despair and die,
Smashing our faithful dreams,
The cynical kid I once was has finally faded,
The gun in my hand will tell you the same,

Climbing the ladder of burdens within,
Recharged with no sympathetic end,
Coloring my fate with a black edge,
Until I'm too fucked up to care anymore,
Kiss thy quivering lips and fall.

- Lethal Enigma -
As I lie back in this chair of mine,
Watching the world fall beneath me,
Nothing is getting through in my mind,
The one in chains; the only one that can break through,
It is both a hurt and a virtue,

Completely silent now,
With nothing else to give,
I've been hung up by everyone's lies,
Everyone underestimated me,
Yet they don't know how blindsided they are,

They had the time to think it through, but it's too late,
Feeding upon the black rose,
The rose that keeps the adrenaline pumping inside,
Keeping my nerves intact; compelled to erupt,
It's a everlasting grudge of the mind.

- Blank -
Getting sick, burning up again,
Draggin' my feet, another day begin,
Mind craving much medicine,
Forced to take the same shit every day,

Hating life, myself is sin,
Killing me, this drug depends,
Suicide, soul surrends,
This bitter sweet dream; wounded,

Feeling stuck, changing skins again,
Kissing death's lips, mental rain begin,
Mind blinded, from me within,
Should I just give up and die my friend?

Fucking me, this drug within,
Sucking me, my soul defends,
Forgotten times, memory clensed,
Brain dead, but still alive my friend.

Rebuke, don't choke on this twisted dream.

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 23:15:16 GMT

Alright, so a lot of things have been happening since this past June. Apparently, that's the last time I updated my blog on here. By the way, that concert was really awesome. =P Speaking of which...I need a concert fix and of course get totally wasted...again. *twitch*

You ever have those feelings? Like an emptyness inside your heart, but yet it feels so good running through your veins? It's like a void, a lonely feeling, a hatred feeling, a sick and tired feeling. This feeling hit me head-on like stopping in the middle of the street and get hit by a truck going 80 MPH. I hate being lonely. It hurt the black hole in my heart so deeply I actually started crying. I hate crying with a very strong passion. I just want someone here for me. To be with me, to love and protect me. To accept me for who I am, you know? It just hurts like hell that I can't find this person. To come riding on a white horse with a guitar OR bass on his back and just sweep me off my feet.

Honeslty, I feel the urge to write some more poetry. It's been five months since I have written anything. I guess it's just hard to write due to I have absolutely NO privacy whatsoever. I have a aunt im living with that doesn't talk to me because she's just a complete bitch. I'm tired of living in a fucking trailer surrounded by mexicans. I have an oil leak in my car which will cause serious problems if I don't get it fixed and now I can't drag it anymore since everything seems to be going out. I mean it's almost 20 years old and never replaced the engine. It's got around 350,000 miles and still running strong. Problems seem to follow me everywhere and I can't control it.

So, im thinking about buying a new guitar. My old one just really sucks and the sound is so off since I bought it and im just getting tired of look at it basically. I want something that stands out, by appearance and sound of it's greatness. So im going to buy of course, a PRS. I'm not sure what brand yet, but I'll work on that when I decide what I want. It's gonna even have a locking system! I've already got a kick ass custom paint job idea im thinking about. It'll have a nice, shiny, black base with blood-red snakes trimmed in light blue wrapped around the neck all the way down. Of course, this'll take years to save for but it's worth it, I guess.

I got the flu shot yesterday as well at Morgan Lewis Drug Store. I'm not afraid of needles so it wasn't that big of a deal. Except after I got the shot I felt like I was going to pass out, but quickly recovered. I'm just glad I didn't bruise like I did in the past years. Last year I was black and blue all over my forearm. It looked like I was obsessivly injecting Heroin in my arm. *shiver*

After the shot I was hungry so I decided to go with mom and go out to eat at the Texas Road House. The only thing good about Texas...is our steak. *falls over* The best steak, salad and baked potato there, ever. You practically have to roll me out of there cause after I eat I look like a completely butterball. On a fun note, one of my waiters and his friend gave me their phone numbers...in front of my mother. Personally, I think it's hilarious. My waiter was 19 and his friend was in his mid 20's. Which, I really don't mind. I think it's hot. Maybe, I should work there. So, I could get laid on some fresh cut cow meat. Bwuhaha!

Alright, I figured I would change my nail polish up a bit. I've been wearing black for so many years I never considered a new color till now. So now im going with a shiny silver or "chrome". I think it looks hot. Makes me wanna lick my fingers all sexy-like.

Yeah so...I think I'm done. I'm tired of being depressed so I'm going to shove Tabascorn down my throat.

Love, Donuts and Genocide,

- Kara-mess

Generic_Bond's Xanga

Come get your knife.

Rebuke, don't choke on this twisted dream.