Currently Listening Phobia By Breaking Benjamin see related

Alright, so a lot of things have been happening since this past June. Apparently, that's the last time I updated my blog on here. By the way, that concert was really awesome. =P Speaking of which...I need a concert fix and of course get totally wasted...again. *twitch*

You ever have those feelings? Like an emptyness inside your heart, but yet it feels so good running through your veins? It's like a void, a lonely feeling, a hatred feeling, a sick and tired feeling. This feeling hit me head-on like stopping in the middle of the street and get hit by a truck going 80 MPH. I hate being lonely. It hurt the black hole in my heart so deeply I actually started crying. I hate crying with a very strong passion. I just want someone here for me. To be with me, to love and protect me. To accept me for who I am, you know? It just hurts like hell that I can't find this person. To come riding on a white horse with a guitar OR bass on his back and just sweep me off my feet.

Honeslty, I feel the urge to write some more poetry. It's been five months since I have written anything. I guess it's just hard to write due to I have absolutely NO privacy whatsoever. I have a aunt im living with that doesn't talk to me because she's just a complete bitch. I'm tired of living in a fucking trailer surrounded by mexicans. I have an oil leak in my car which will cause serious problems if I don't get it fixed and now I can't drag it anymore since everything seems to be going out. I mean it's almost 20 years old and never replaced the engine. It's got around 350,000 miles and still running strong. Problems seem to follow me everywhere and I can't control it.

So, im thinking about buying a new guitar. My old one just really sucks and the sound is so off since I bought it and im just getting tired of look at it basically. I want something that stands out, by appearance and sound of it's greatness. So im going to buy of course, a PRS. I'm not sure what brand yet, but I'll work on that when I decide what I want. It's gonna even have a locking system! I've already got a kick ass custom paint job idea im thinking about. It'll have a nice, shiny, black base with blood-red snakes trimmed in light blue wrapped around the neck all the way down. Of course, this'll take years to save for but it's worth it, I guess.

I got the flu shot yesterday as well at Morgan Lewis Drug Store. I'm not afraid of needles so it wasn't that big of a deal. Except after I got the shot I felt like I was going to pass out, but quickly recovered. I'm just glad I didn't bruise like I did in the past years. Last year I was black and blue all over my forearm. It looked like I was obsessivly injecting Heroin in my arm. *shiver*

After the shot I was hungry so I decided to go with mom and go out to eat at the Texas Road House. The only thing good about Texas...is our steak. *falls over* The best steak, salad and baked potato there, ever. You practically have to roll me out of there cause after I eat I look like a completely butterball. On a fun note, one of my waiters and his friend gave me their phone numbers...in front of my mother. Personally, I think it's hilarious. My waiter was 19 and his friend was in his mid 20's. Which, I really don't mind. I think it's hot. Maybe, I should work there. So, I could get laid on some fresh cut cow meat. Bwuhaha!

Alright, I figured I would change my nail polish up a bit. I've been wearing black for so many years I never considered a new color till now. So now im going with a shiny silver or "chrome". I think it looks hot. Makes me wanna lick my fingers all sexy-like.

Yeah so...I think I'm done. I'm tired of being depressed so I'm going to shove Tabascorn down my throat.

Love, Donuts and Genocide,

- Kara-mess